There was a wide-ranging response to the call for limericks encapsulating the life, or some aspect of the life, of famous figures. Politicians were well to the fore, including Alan Millichip’s Truss and ‘This man you can’t sack/Our nemesis out on the stump.’, Marshall Begel’s Theodore Roosevelt and Michael Swan's Eric Bloodaxe. Bloodaxe wasn't much of a horseman, but he loved to sail (typical Norseman) . . . Great minds were represented by Wittgenstein, Darwin and Pythagoras and the musical gamut ran from the baroque to bebop,
Below, in no particular order, (except for giving Byron the top spot as a nod to the 200th anniversary of his death on April 19th 1824, though, as he wrote, ‘Post obits rarely reach a poet’) are the results of the five-line exercise, with thanks to all who took part and commiserations on some near misses.
D. A. Prince: Lord Byron
School (Harrow); a very slow starter,
and to ‘passionate friendships’ a martyr.
Thus, a rackety life –
viz. his sister as ‘wife’;
fled London, persona non grata.
Plays, poems came faster and faster;
each title a hit, a real blaster.
Childe Harold, Don Juan;
wrote always a new ‘un.
And lovers? Oh, he was The Master.
He lived for a world that was wide
so fought for the Greeks, on their side.
Not feeling too strong he
sank down (Missolonghi)
with a fever. And that’s where he died.
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
Marshall Begel
Mononymous artist, Adele,
Writes sensuous music to tell
How intimate visions
And foolish decisions
Bring heartbreak we all know too well.
Though love is divine and ethereal,
Relationships tend to be serial.
So I'd tell her muse
Don't fall for her ruse –
She'll dump you for writing material!
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
Felicia Nimue Ackerman: A Poet Named Lear
There once was a poet named Lear,
Whose verses still shine far and near.
Though not as profound
As Milton or Pound,
He certainly spread greater cheer.
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
John Wood: Grantham Is As Grantham Does
This Lincolnshire lass with ambition
Was ever a girl on a mission:
From grocer's shop wallah
To Somerville scholar
To lawyer – to top politician.
Her style left a nation divided
Her policies loved or derided
Free markets she cherished
The miners – they perished
By head, not by heart, ever guided.
A poll tax that made the rich richer
Her failure to get the big picture
Her horror of turning
Though London was burning
Persuaded her colleagues to ditch her.
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
Mike Mesterson-Gibbons
Albert Einstein was so scruffy-haired
That his brain lost no heat while he stared
At equations which hid
Relativity's id
And concluded that E's m c squared
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
Brian Allgar: The Once and Future (?) President
“I wrote this great book – yeah, for real!
I called it ‘The Art of the Deal’.
Believe me, when Prez,
I’ll do just what it says –
I’ll lie and I’ll cheat and I’ll steal.”
His ego is monstrously swollen:
“I always came top in the pollin’;
The people adore me,
They all voted for me,
Which proves the election was stolen!”
We’re hoping the courts get it right
By putting an end to this blight
With a long prison term.
Though he’ll wriggle and squirm,
His crimes are all there in plain sight.
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
Steven Searcy: Mr J. B. G.
Mr. John Birks Gillespie – who is he?
His cheeks puff – his fingers are busy –
his horn blows a blizzard
of notes – he’s a wizard
of bebop – we know him as Dizzy.
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
Gail White: Handel
His music was Handel’s great pride;
Bad playing, a thorn in his side.
So he cannot be blamed
If he truly exclaimed
“God rot Tunbridge Wells!” as he died.
◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊ ◊
L. A Mereoie: Legendary Lines
St George, (the long lance and large pony ‘un)
Achieved fame for his treatment (draconian)
Of a sort of green saurian.
The tale is a hoary’un
And also, most likely, a phony ‘un.
But never mind that, he’s an icon,
A target for Canon and Nikon.
Could he access the net
His posts would soon get
Thumbs galore busy sticking a Like on.
