Jerome Betts: Seasonal Fare And Foul
Ah, Christmas pudding all aglow,
You are the season’s best in show.
But sickly so-called mince pies? No!
I’d rather eat the mistletoe!
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Brian Allgar: Fish Fingers
The factory workers finger fish,
And on their hands the flavour lingers.
I fear they’re used to make the dish,
For fish themselves do not have fingers.
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Felicia Nimue Ackerman: Good Taste
“What goes without saying . . . is that
hunger is the enemy, and a woman’s
job is to repel it, control it, fight it off,
push it down.”
– The New York Times Book Review
Self-control makes eating dreary.
Sweets are bliss; let's not deny it.
Diet guidance makes me weary.
What delight when I defy it!
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Damian Balassone: The Law
If you decide to sue for defamation,
then be prepared for cross-examination.
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L. A. Mereoie: Covert Charges
(On reading that two chefs were charged
at Chester-le-Street with trespassing in
search of game and fined £80 each.)
Out checking festive pheasant stocks
For fear of vermin’s famished looks
The keeper found no fly old fox
But bagged a pair of poaching cooks.
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Bruce Bennett: Everything changes.
“Everything changes,” I said to my wife.
I said it in jest, a cliché about life.
I knew how she’d take it. She did, as a curse.
“But why is it always a change for the worse?”
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Russel Winick: Not So Sweet A Choice
It's known that table sugar isn't good for you –
And so consuming less is healthier, that's true.
But unknown are the chances of a greater curse –
That sweetener alternatives are even worse.
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Damian Balassone: Advice for Disenfranchised Youth
The first thing we must teach our youth:
aggression does not equal truth.
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Philip Kitcher: Goodbye To All That
The rulers of our webby world are lacking in compunction
and many other virtues too – but how they love their toys!
They’ve given us necessities that constantly malfunction –
who thought of letting daily life be run by teenage boys?
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Felicia Nimue Ackerman: Enhancing Glancing
“Some might say the shortage of wit
[in contemporary poetry] is a good thing.
Wit, after all, is glancing and clever
rather than weighty and moral; it’s potent,
but at the same time, not entirely serious.”
– The New York Times Book Review
Wit is just glancing and clever
Rather than weighty and moral.
This makes it more welcome than ever
In contrast to tedious quarrel.
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Michael Calvert: Offending Wall
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall
That’s topped with pointed stones or broken glass;
It’s just a courtesy, however small,
To let a weary traveler rest his ass.
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Gail White: Critique of the Iliad
What makes it exciting?
Some serious smiting
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L.A. Mereoie: Two Yeomen of England
“*garde-vaisselle, n.m. (pl. unchanged )
Yeoman of the scullery. – Cassell’s
French Dictionary 1962 8th Edition 1968.
While Tom felt lucky, Yeoman of the Guard
In Tudor rig (quite Technicolory!)
Blue-aproned Arthur thought himself ill-starred
As lowly yeoman of the scullery.
