Badger got hit by the bull bars
On their latest all-terrain.
Ratty, face down in the hot tub,
Had a metal spike through his brain.
Mole, concussed, just starved to death
Beneath his concrete prison.
Toad perished on the chewed up wires
That power the television.
Alfred the Horse supplied the meat
For a takeaway for four.
The field mice in the football net
Aren’t singing any more.
No wind blows through The Willows:
High fences see to that.
And any creatures stumbling by
Are killed by next door’s cat.
“We don’t need any wildlife:
It only spoils the view.
We’ve got our artificial lawn
And our lovely barbecue.”
So the Ferrets, Stoats and Weasels,
Enjoying their new estates,
Shut out the nasty natural world
With their electronic gates.
But as the moon shines brightly
And the traffic noise has ceased,
And the Willows’ pampered residents
Sleep off their midnight feast,
The world observes this vermin
In their cosy plastic nests
And with poison, flood and burning
Will eradicate these pests.