Why Hollywood won’t work with Shia La Beouf!
Elvis isn’t dead! A shocking new book has proof!
Murdered cheerleaders had their throats slashed!
Disney TV star injured in as speedboats crashed!
A once homeless Iraq veteran amazingly cooks like
A pro! See what this Charlie’s Angel now looks like!
This is not the poem that I meant to write today.
The internet – as you can see – got in my way.
To stop me from heading off in this bad direction,
I need a computer that lacks an online connection.
From this nonsense, I’ll be glad to have fled, but
Hold on . . . gimme a sec: Kanye West said what ?